My Jew alter

TW: antisemitism
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More stuff about OSDD-1
Sometimes I asked myself how could I named my introject alter a Holocaust survivor. I mean how could I appropriate the experience of Holocaust survivors? But after that I remembered that split – his “birth” in my mind. It wasn’t my choice. Alter’s birth couldn’t be your choice. He was born because I used to believe that I (as a Jew) would die in the death camp all my teen ages. Because my own half-Jew Dad like the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Because our school program praised Jewish pogroms. Because strangers in Ukraine and Russia that I met in the street or in the trains call me part of the “parasite nation” because of my Jewish origin. They said it out loud. And nobody cares. Not even my parents! Because so many trolls still wish me to be killed because I’m partly Jewish.
Because antisemitism in post-USSR is so strong that people from UK couldn’t even imagine it.
Because I was shattered and most of the times I couldn’t even remember my own emotions about antisemitism.
So yep, now I have an alter who considered himself a Holocaust survival. It’s an interject of Magneto from X-Man. He based on a fictional character but his pain is real. This is mine pain. The pain that I couldn’t pain that I could not endure in any other way other than splitting my personality into pieces. So no, I’m not going to gaslight my alter’s experience and self-identity. He as real as alter could be. And he continues to be triggered and felt pain from all anti-Semitic crap that I’ve seen or heard.
#did#holocaust#jew#osdd#osddsystem#osdd1b#alters#antisemitism