Autism, Parents

Dear “Autism parents”.

You are not giving birth to Autism.

You give birth to a child. An Autistic child.

And Autism is their experience, their identity and their condition.

It’s not about you.

And even Autistic parenting is not about you. It’s about parents who is Autistic themselfs. These parents exist, even if their experiences are erased.

This stuff about “Autism parenting” is one of the reasons why Autistic parenting, real Autistic parenting is erased.

And why some folks believe that paaaarents know more than actually Autistic people – I mean in our culture around Autism, Autism is so often about parents.

But if you want your kids to be happy, to be heard and to be taken seriously you need to stop this.

You need to accept that Autistic identity is not your identity to take.

It’s like… If you are not a doctor you are not a “medicine parent”. You are a parent of a medical worker.

If you are not a woman but have a daughter you are not “the girl parent”. You are a father who happened to have a girl as a child.

So you are not Autism parent.

You are a parent of an Autistic kid.

Period.

-Ayman, Ver.B.A., Lil.

#actuallyautistic #autism #autismawareness #autisticacceptance #autistic #autisticproblems #ableism

Autism

A little bit about special interests.

I was telling my doctor about ISIS during my autism diagnostic procedure.

How not to tell if this is stuff that I’m thinking about most of the time, that I’m writing, listening and reading about?

And well, if she asked questions in many ways about it.

It was like:

“Are you collecting something?”

“Yeah” *I show her photo with my books about IS and explain the order*

“Do you have deep interests in something?”

“Yeah, Middle Eastern politics, Islamic State, Contr-terrorism, stuff like that”

“Do you have any friends? Tell about them”

“Yeah, they are all Autistic. Well, one of them is thinking that he is not, but he is interested in Islamic State stuff from 2014, and read everything about it that he could found in Russian, and we are speaking about ISIS”

“Do you have problems now?”

“Yeah, when people here think that they need to say something nice about Russia to me… it’s like if they try to say something nice about IS to a yazidi”

Stuff like that. Surprisingly, the doctor was OK with it.

In Russia for such things people considered me a terrorist-supporter. (Don’t know WTF)

And I feel sooo better after I realized that I could safely speak about my special interests, and could mention it just like that.

So, yeah, please, stop shaming people for their interests.

Even if these interests are weird.

(On photo: me with my “weekly reading chose. One book: “black flags of Caribbean” by Cotte is about IS. Another, “concrete rose” by Angie Thomas is YA fiction about a black boy – not about IS. But I used to read something about Middle East every week)

#jihadistudies #did #autism #osdd #actuallyautistic #autismawareness #autismacceptance #autistic #autisticadult

Activism, Autism

Official Autism diagnosis

Yesterday I finally got an Autistic diagnosis.

Was it a relief?

Yeah, definitely! Not because I don’t know that I’m Autistic, but because I wanted an official diagnosis for 7 long years. At first to find out who I am, after that to prove to my parents and people around me that I’m right.

In Russia and Ukraine it is extremely difficult (and expensive) for a person to get an official Autistic diagnosis. Especially for an adult person because I think nearly 90% of specialists believe that Autism in adulthood is Schizophrenia.

And some of the rest believe that Autism is an intellectual disability or means that a person couldn’t speak.

So I have kind of oral confirmation of the diagnosis from different specialists in post-USSR, and they don’t have opportunities or don’t believe that they could write some papers. All of them, as far as I know, have this kind of Western education/qualification courses.

Well, this is what you need to know about “free” USSR medicine and education!

But now I would have it. My papers. My diagnosis. My Autistic status/case was so obvious for specialists that the process took less time than it usually takes.

And what I want to say now to all this trolls and “Autism paaaarents” who are telling everyone that I’m faking?

And who pushed every Autistic person to take an official diagnosis?

Actually, nothing. Yeah, this diagnosis is metter for me because I badly wanted to have it long ago and because it could help in some legal procedures. And because I want to be officially disabled – not because of money, but because I don’t want to feel hypocritical by telling other people that being disabled is normal stuff but don’t get a disability status for myself.

But does diagnosis help me to understand who I am? Does it give me more rights to speak about my experience?

No, I don’t need neurotypical approval to understand who I am, or speaking about my experience. And other Autistic people help me more than doctors.

Also now, when I have all papers, I wouldn’t ever speak like it means more than self-diagnosis or push other people to diagnose themselves. I know that this is a privilege that I have only now, and many folks still don’t have it. And I wouldn’t use this privilege against my Autistic folks.

(Selfi: Me (and Abu Hamza and Ver.B.A. Is near) in a gray coat)

Activism, Autism, culture, Disability, multiple life

Are dissociative identity disorder is a real disorder/ DID, disability and neurodiversity paradigm

https://youtu.be/AeD1aj7ZtOE

We are talking about why we don’t believe that Dissociative identity disorder and OSDD is a real “disorder”, what the difference between “disorder” and “disability” is and what the Neurodiversity paradigms are.

#did #osdd #osddsystem #osdd1b #dissociation #dissociativeidentitydisorder #multiplepersonalities #multiplepersonalitiesdisorder #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #plural #pluralgang #pluralpride #actuallyautistic #autism #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealth

Autism, culture, multiple life

(Abu Aziza lies among the flowers and sniffs them)

Support post for Autistic and Multiple people whose parents don’t believe in their diagnosis.

Your condition is real even if your parents don’t believe in it.

Our culture is about “parents support” in many ways. Parents are often portrayed like a Saint. Or at least as a person who knows their kids and wants everything better for them.

But in reality everything is more difficult.

Parents could be abusive.

Parents could hate their kids.

And even “good, loving parents” could be bigots.

Your parents could denied it because of their own

ableism, or because it helps them to believe that they were doing everything right, that they don’t make some big mistakes in communication with you.

Most of the time this denial is not about you, but about them: about their convenience and their stereotypes.

This is not your fault.

Maybe after some time or after some new arguments they would believe you or your doctor and they would say it out loud.

Maybe they would believe or have some suspensions but they would continue to deny all of it openly.

Maybe they would never believe you and would prefer to live in an “imaginary world”.

But whatever.

Because anyway; it couldn’t make your conditions less real.

-Ayman

#actuallyautistic #did #autism #osdd #osddsystem #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #multiplepersonalities #plural #pluralgang

Autism, culture, Disability, multiple life

Now I couldn’t separate my problems as an Autistic person and my problems as a Multiple person.

For example, why is it difficult for me to do some stuff where I need to do several tasks: because I have executed dysfunction or because my Littles interrupted me and they have ever stronger executing dysfunction? And sometimes it’s better because I’m in co-front with an alter without executing function problems or… or not just that?

Or for example negative reactions when someone interrupted my plans? It’s just Autistic stuff or it’s more about different alters having different preferences and wanting to spend a little time doing what they like, but when they only started to front someone interrupted them? Or maybe it’s more Ver.B.A.’s fear that we don’t have enough time?

So, I couldn’t separate “multiple me” from “autistic me”.

Actually, the same with other identities. I couldn’t separate my non-binary, refugee, Russian culture survivor, partly-Jewish, former Muslim self from my Autistic self.

This is all just intersected.

-Ayman

#actuallyautistic #did #autism #osdd #osddsystem #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth

Autism, culture, LGBT+, trans

TERF used to speak that trans* people need psychotherapy and after that they would realize that they don’t need any transition.

Traditionalists used to say that Autistic people, or queer or Systems need psychotherapy to look “normal” and be “undistinguished from peers”.

Well, I fully accept that I’m trans* a person only after a year and half of psychotherapy, and therapy actually helps me.

And I find out that I’m a System several months later that I accepted that I’m trans*. And I almost stopped trying to behave like a singlet.

And I stopped being ashamed of Autistic behaviors because of my therapy.

So, the goal of good therapy is to help people to be themselves, accept and better understand themself. Not to be “normal”, not to fit in toxic demands.

Otherwise it’s just quackery.

So yeah, therapy really could help. But not in a way that TERF and traditionalists think about.

#terf #trans #transgender #nonbinary #did #osdd #osddsystem #osdd1b #dissociation #dissociativeidentitydisorder #multiplesclerosis #multiplepersonality #plural #pluralgang #pluralpride #lgbt #lgbtq🌈 #lgbtq #queer #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #autism #actuallyautistic

Ageism, Autism

Video about Autistic adults

I’m an Autistic adult and I’m speaking about the main stereotypes and misunderstandings that exists about Autism in adulthood. Because it’s really weird that so many people in Google have questions about it.

Also about “you are not like my child” kind of stereotypes.

https://youtu.be/_qZ3_2beNYQ

#autismawareness #autismacceptance #autismadvocate #autism #actuallyautistic #autistic #autisticadult #mentalhealth #neurodiversity #neurodivergent

Activism, Autism, culture, Disability, multiple life

About diversity

(Me, sitting on the stone)

Let’s speak a little bit about human diversity.

Do you know that your neighbor is not like Barack Obama even if he is Black?

Or that your granny is not like Queen Elizabeth, despite the fact that both of them are old ladies?

Or that Muslim girl from your school is not Malala Yousafzai?

I hope you know it.

Black, women and Muslim are stigmatized but they are different.

And there is the news (unfortunately for many folks it’s really The News):

Neurodivergent people are different.

Yeah, I mean Autistic people, bipolar people, folks with ADHD, people with dyslexia and dyspraxia, Plural systems and so on and so forth…

So, yeah, I’m Autistic and I’m not like your child.

And I’m not like Temple Grandin.

Or Ari Neeman. Or someone else. I’m just like me.

And I’m tired, tired, tired of you trying to compare me with other Autistic folks like we need to be clon army just because we are Autistic.

The same with Multiplicity. My System is not like DissociaDID, we are not like Multiplicity and Me and we are certainly not like Kevin from “Split”

movie (because Kevin is really crappy and unrealistic representation, so no one is like Kevin!)

It’s so odd that I have to tell you in 2021 that literally only people are different – in any stigmatized or non-stigmatized group – even if their brains work in a “weird” way.

-Ayman and Rumpel

#did #osdd #osddsystem #osdd1b #dissociation #dissociativeidentitydisorder #actuallyautistic #autismacceptance #autismawareness #multiplepersonalities #pluralgang #pluralpride #neurodiverse #neurodivergent #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth

Autism, Disability

TW: child abuse, ableism, racism

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We don’t know why the topic about “Autistic aggression” is so popular, because most Autistic people are not violent at all.

But whatever, we decided to make a video about it. And about the reasons for “Autistic aggression”.

Hope you would like it.

https://youtu.be/UIiUtG8aM7k

#autism #autismacceptance #actuallyautistic #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #did #osdd #osddsystem #osdd1b #dissociativedisorders #autistic #autisticadults #autistickids #autisticgirl